Boredom

It's happened. I have become bored with using My Fitness Pal. My life is simply too busy to stop and record everything I eat and do throughout the day. The app is like an old friend that helped me through some tough times and now that I've learned a lot from it, I feel like I no longer need it. Maybe I'll come back one day, but for now, it bores me.

Speaking of boredom, I am bored with only walking. Not the walking itself; I still love it. I just need to change up my routine. I spoke before about adding some weights to help with my arms and I still haven't done anything like it yet. I had to put on some lycra this week for an audition and seeing myself in those big mirrors at the dance studio just about did me in. I still haven't come to terms with the emotions that are welling up inside me. I haven't seen the inside of a dance studio in 20 years. And it shows. I mean, I am happy I've lost almost 15lbs, but I still have a LONG way to go (like another 30lbs!). Not to mention the fact that I haven't lost anything in the last two weeks. It's no one's fault but my own. I know what I need to do and I am not doing it all of the time. I'm bored. And when I am bored, I eat. I'm an emotional eater and someone who eats out of boredom. Not even MFP will help.

You know what would help? If I could find a plastic surgeon who could do some pro bono abdominoplasty work. This sagging c-section belly will NOT go away. No matter what I do, it just hangs there. You cannot see all of the other progress on my body because of it. It's so embarrassing. It is one of the sources of my depression. I once had a doctor tell me that no matter what I did, my belly would never be the same without surgery. My muscles are toast and won't recover. Well, I don't totally agree but he's got something on some level. Now, do I try hard enough? Maybe not. I guess my attitude is "why try?" when I know the result may never change. It's very frustrating. If anyone knows a good surgeon who may take pity on a girl who donated her kidney, hook me up!! LOL

Anyway! I hope this boredom passes. I need to make changes to help and hold myself accountable. I have to stay on track with my eating and exercise and increase it when it's needed; like with toning and weights. I still do not want to join a gym, but I think it may be time to look into options here at work for employees. We have fitness centers around campus at a discounted price and I am going to contact someone about personal training. The time has come for me to not do this alone. Hopefully this will help cure my boredom!